Nala Cyriac
Mr. Cohen
ENL1W
11th of September
Target: I need to use different types of sentence types correctly and appropriately, use a few more descriptive methods, use a few more language features, make the story more engaging rather than having only descriptive words, and use different types of punctuation correctly and appropriately.
Descriptive Writing Part 2
Sasha and her older brother Frey wandered seemingly aimlessly through the large enchanted forest. Why does he have a spear with him, she wondered, brushing it off because he always carried it with him. Ever since he turned 16 he has never let that thing go. She shrugged, wondering if she would get one too. The light shone on the rocks and trees; illuminating them in shades of brilliant purples and teals. A light haze of fog drifted over them as they peered into one of the many puddles created by the storm the previous night.
“What are we doing here?” Sasha asked her brother. Her brother did not reply. His eyes suddenly narrowed, the usually amber tones shifted to a deep crimson as his pointed ears pinned back, turning slightly at any new sounds. Her brother focussed his eyes at something in the distance, what seemed like just a shadow to her moved until she saw exactly what he did. He readied his spear, hiding it from view as the creature stepped out slightly from the shadows. Is he… hunting?
The biggest, most monstrous looking beast emerged from the shadows; covered in ebony fur and eyes of pure evil, the creature lifted itself onto its hind feet and roared. A Flandagor, she recognized. Horrible. Her brother didn't even flinch. Tears welled in her eyes as terror struck her. “Frey?” she managed to say. Her voice trembled. The only way that she knew that he heard her was his left ear twitched backwards to face her. Paralyzed with fear, she could do nothing but stare at the beast. I can’t believe I am going to die here, what will father say? He warned me never to come here. Stupid, stupid, stupid Sash.
“Run.” Her brother whispered.
She did. The beast's monstrous footsteps mimicked the pounding of her heart, she dared not look back. Fast like a fire fox, her mind repeated over and over. She leaped onto the trunk of a nearby tree and began to climb, just like her brother had taught her. She remembered his voice; “there are only three things that you need to remember: grip, stability, and don’t ever turn back.”
Once she reached the top of the tree which must have been at least 20 feet above the ground, she watched her brother. His swift movement anticipated the beast’s every move. Magnificent. He twirled and ducked, effortlessly slashing at the creature’s massive stumps for legs. Every time he did, the beast would let out a noise so foul that Sasha would have to grip onto the branch to keep from falling back as the trees shook.
After maybe 15 minutes more, she realised that at some point, she had closed her eyes. She only opened them again when she heard her brother chuckle.
“Silly Sash, come down, it's not going to hurt you now!” Frey laughed.
She trembled, “Alright.”
“You know the older elves hunt these things all the time.” Sasha nodded.
That beast, what if it was protecting something? What about its family? She stared at the creature for a moment and she almost felt bad for it in a way; until she remembered that it was trying to kill them.
“Let's get to work then.” her brother smiled, tossing her one of his many knives. She let it fall to the floor.
“Gosh Frey! You could have killed me!” her brother laughed.
“Don’t be a baby, come on, we will be eating well tonight!” Sasha swallowed hard, doing as he said. Disgusting.
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